‘ What do you want?’ John 1:36

This is a question Jesus asks to 2 of John the Baptist’s followers. In the following verse their response is recorded. They don’t answer the question. Instead they ask Jesus another question. Why did they change the subject?

We all have our avoidance techniques.God gave us free will to change the subject. We all have the capacity to accept Him, and the capacity to reject Him. This does not change when we decide to follow Him. We still have free will in deciding how much of Him we want. We have the choice of how honest we are with Him. We can put God into a box that we can understand. A box that doesn't disrupt our lives or disturb our comfort.  If we want more of God it leads to a life with Father, Son and Holy Spirit on the most incredible adventure. I know I want more and I know many others who join me in this desire.     

But there is something I have to address. Our stuff. The emotional baggage that we carry. The disappointments from the past, the fears that overwhelm us, the lies that we believe about ourselves and lies we believe about what God thinks about us. Most of this stuff we carry and have carried for so long we don’t even know it’s there. It generally only shows itself when we’re under pressure. When life throws us one of the many curve balls from around a corner and knocks our  ‘stuff’ to the surface. It’s when we’re around someone that for an unknown reason you want to punch very hard in the face. An encounter with them annoys you so much you end up talking about it for the next 3 or 4 days with anyone who'll listen.

I have my stuff. But it's a lot less than I did 7 months ago. Isaiah 53:5 ‘...by his wounds we are healed.’ This is my testimony. I have been introduced to a model called More Light. 'Oh right! Another amazing miracle working model...' Now please pay attention to how you are reacting. Because you'll be reacting out of your pain,  past experiences, doubts, lies and the big one, fear. I know, because I've been there. More Light is not counselling. It is focused on exposing the lies we believe and hearing the truth from Jesus. It brings freedom, healing, it works and is quick. It is the only model where we 'test the spirit's and anything that has influence over us is revealed and we can send it away in the name of Jesus. As we seek more of God, His Spirit and presence we allow Him to reveal these lies. But it is our choice to do something about it or as John’s followers did, change the subject.

Some of you may know that I am adopted. It is normal for adopted people to carry specific stuff attached to this fact. Through 2 different dreams, (one involving my current rugby crush so that got my attention!) God highlighted fears of intimacy and fears abandonment that I carried. I made an appointment for More Light and sat with 2 people from Church who walked me through the process. One person facilitates and one person records what happens. You begin with your feelings. The emotions that we have are rooted in an incident from our past. So for this More Light session we asked the Holy Spirit to take me back to the beginning of my life. I had a picture of little baby Michelle in an incubator. I was battling against meningitis. During the session I repented from being angry at my mum, forgave her, and renounced feelings of shame,  anxiety and abandonment that came from my mum. There were other lies that were sent away, and the truth in the picture was I saw Jesus holding baby Michelle by the incubator.

I asked Jesus, ‘Do I need to feel abandoned? Jesus answered, ‘ No. I've always had you in my arms. In the future, you never need to feel abandoned, only if you choose to feel that way’.

Jesus said, ‘ I'll never let you go and your future is a beautiful City filled with love, joy and laughter.’  

Over many years I have struggled with fears in times of financial difficulty. Through this session I understood the underlying fear was rooted in the lie that God would abandon me in my times of need. 4 days after this session I had a bill come through. I am still not working and money is still tight. But I simply paid the bill. My emotions were at peace, not frozen by fear. I was at rest in the truth that Jesus had and will always have me in his arms. He will never abandon me. This is just part of one of many More Light sessions. God has used the pain and trauma of last May and my home to bring into the light, areas of pain I've been limping with for decades.It has been draining, but the healing that I've found is priceless. In fact, on the Sunday before the house explosion God gave me the word, 'Restore' and that is what I've been experiencing!

So I am sharing this as I don’t want you, my friends, to carry on limping. I want you to be healed, to be free from fears, lies and the past that holds you back in fulfilling the call Jesus has placed on your life. But I know not everyone who reads this will do something about it. That is not my responsibility and I won’t lose sleep over it. Not everyone follows Jesus, not everyone wants all of God, and not everyone wants to be healed. If you want information about More Light come back to me. My prayer is you'll be courageous, you won’t ignore what has been stirring in you as you've been reading this and get some freedom. But if you don't want to get healed that’s your choice, I'm healed enough to not let your decisions affect me.  I can only be responsible for me.