Thoughts for a Thursday. Greenbelt 2012

Over the last 10 years God has been stripping away areas of my identity.During my second year at Bible College I was told that I was adopted. I've struggled to settle into a role since finishing with Gloucester YFC and again find myself unemployed. Then experiencing a dramatic removal of practically all my belongings was the pinnacle of having my sense of self being stripped back to the core. It's easy to glibly say you're a child of God and that's where your identity comes from. But over the last couple of months it truly has been at the centre of walking through the pain. It has and continues to be raw but I know that deep in my soul and spirit God is stripping away all that will hold me back from His plans for my future. I was coming to terms with this and seeking the next step for the future, then last Thursday I received a message that my purse had been found on the landfill site where my belongings had ended up after the house demolition. To say that this put me in an emotional tailspin is an understatement. I went to bed that night unable to stop my thoughts whirling in my head. I had made peace with the loss I had experienced and felt like I'd accepted that I was never going to see most of what had made me me. So to hear that my purse was coming back to me was a huge shock. Questions arose, 'Why now?' 'Why this and not something more precious?' This led to more anger, pain and confusion. Not really how I'd envisaged my Greenbelt eve. After setting up camp on the Friday I picked up my purse. For some reason I expected it to look the same so I was shocked when I saw it. It looks like a house has fallen on it, because of course it had.

I'd like to share some of my Greenbelt highlights with you. Amidst the emotional whirlwind I did enjoy a number of activities. As result of little sleep and deep fried emotions I was unsure how I should spend my first evening at Greenbelt. I decided upon accompanying a friend to watch the film Blue Like Jazz. It's an adaptation of a novel by Donald Miller with the same title. I knew nothing about the narrative and found the film to be beautiful and enthralling. The journey of a young man disillusioned with his faith after discovering those closest to him have not lived out all they profess to believe. I won't write too much as I'd love you to discover it for yourselves as I did. Here's the trailer and I am eagerly waiting for the film to be released here:

 

I attended a number of worship spaces that were fairly diverse. These included sessions led by The Rend Collective Experiment and Andy Flannagan. These were exciting opportunities to engage with God, His heart and also to pour out a few more tears! On another occasion I found myself among families celebrating Mass to the tunes of Nursery Rhymes. There was a lightness and fun to the short service. My highlight was the little boy next to me asking his dad, 'Where's Jesus' tortoise?' In response to the phrase we had just sung, '...that Jesus taught us.' But it will not be a surprise to read I went to a Eucharist consisting of sung worship using the songs of U2! (Although one Coldplay track pushed its' way in...but as it was Paradise I let it go. It linked nicely with this years theme.) God has spoken to me often through the lyrics of U2 and this time was no exception. Especially during the track Walk On, http://www.elyrics.net/read/u/u2-lyrics/walk-on-lyrics.html   If you check the lyrics out I think you'll be able to guess my response!

There were a few musical highlights. Charlie Simpson's new material shows he's grown up, a new artist David C Clements provided heartfelt lyrics alongside beautiful acoustic melodies. I again enjoyed Luke Leighfield and I think I joined the majority of Greenbelt watching The Proclaimers! There were a number of other artists I'd planned to see but ended up taking some time to chat with friends over a pint in the Jesus Arms. 

I had planned a list of seminars to go to over the weekend but felt so drained I only managed a few. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Tom Wright and Robin Ince, but the highlight was Jonny Bakers talk entitled Another World Is Possible. It seemed to provide a map for my experience with key codes to the reading of my map. Unsurprisingly I had a good weep again through this, but am hugely thankful and will be downloading this to think through the points that struck home so clearly. 

Every evening finished with Last Orders. The evening has two hosts; Andy Walton and Abby Guinness, (surely there must be a joke/reference to the black stuff there...) and takes the format of a late night TV program with interviews and guest performers. It's a great opportunity to catch up on some good stuff you may have missed.

Of course the highlight of any Greenbelt is the lovable trio Folk On! (Your response...). I've been a passionate fan for many a year now. Of course I live quite close to their home of Little Dribblepatch so often understand their weather reports via twitter and facebook. If you have yet to experience the joy of their songs here's a little taster from this year that I recorded. Apologies for the wobble. I promise this was one of the few occasions where they were tears of laughter! Of course you have to have a crush on a band member or something would be wrong, right? And who can resist a man who can sing falsetto? Not me apparently...

The 'Men of Folk' have been very kind and generous to me during this roller coaster. Now if they can find me a nice folk singer of my very own, they'll be a shoe-in for the wedding reception! Rugby season starts on Saturday, so Mr S will be safe and I'll be in love with some rug-by play-ers!