Guidance and Discernment.

So the end of July is looming on the horizon. For many people it brings the end of another academic year. Up and down the Country teachers breath a sigh of relief and look forward to a few weeks to rest, recover and recouperate before their attentions are turned back to school. For myself it provides an opportunity to take stock, and reflect over the last 12 months.

Like many people attest to, following Jesus is often unpredictable, it is never dull, and there are periods that are full of joy and those that are heavy with sorrow. I could go on but Qoheleth in Ecclesiastes puts it infinitely better...

My year has not turned out to be the year I hoped it might be, but am sure it has been all I needed it to be for the future. My time in Australia was an incredible experience, filled with awesome scenery, amusing and loving people who are now family, albeit far away, and the beginnings of the restoration of my heart.

It was a time and place where my hopes and expectations to see God work amongst young people began to return! Also a renewed sense of hope regarding my partnering with God. Unfortunately after praying to meet a Simon Baker look-a-like the nearest I got was this in the departure lounge in Melbourne Airport, it did make laugh loudly drawing many puzzled glances, but that's not unusual for me!

On my return from Australia,I was incredibly blessed to have the support and love of many friends, enduring patience during my time of confusion, frustration and uncertainty, together with financial provision, as I sought the path I should take. The Church I was in encouraged me to grow a faith to expect the God of miracles to be amongst His people, and to look for His Kingdom to break in its fullest sense.

The book by Mark Yaconelli 'Contemplative Youth Ministry' that I read while in Australia has continued to excite me. I hope that its ideas for developing a youth work around community and learning to listen together and to God, rather than presenting a consumer/entertainment model is one I'm eager to be involved with.

The journey of seeking out the next role has involved a lot of waiting, reading, waiting, praying, and a bit more waiting as currently I still have no job! I pursued a role that excited me, although, initially it wasn't a paid role, I felt I should explore it further. However, it has not developed as I hoped it would. Upon reflection, the process I went through to bring me here has taught me much about balancing the use of my common sense and wisdom, and learning to keep my emotions in check. Over arching the whole process is space to discern what God and the Holy Spirit might be saying. I know I tend to respond emotionally and have to work hard on thinking through problems. I suppose this response is exacerbated in times of uncertainty and vulnerability. Key lesson learnt, ask good questions, don't white wash 'alarm bells' just because you're talking with a Christian about a role with a Christian organisation.



So what now? Tomorrow I am meeting with a leader of an organisation about a job. I am cautious and am prepared with questions I want answered, my emotions are not running ahead of me and I hope I'm in a good place to sense what God is saying, whilst having my brain switched on. I do need to 'feel' a connection but not to the detriment of leaving the wisdom and insight God has given me in my bedside drawer. During the whole process, being reminded to spend time with God, with His Word, with His people that I know, that know me and know Our Father.